I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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