WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
