Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
