Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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