i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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