What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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