he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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