we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
