this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize