You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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