I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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