i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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