You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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