Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
