You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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