I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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