The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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