shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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