Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
