i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
