A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I love having hate sex.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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