Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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