why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I want to fling myself into the sun
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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