Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
worst night to have a conscience
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
