I'm drive I can fine osifer
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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