what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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