Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
