if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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