I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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