One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
