pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
