Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
