I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
