i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
