Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
