I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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