You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
