The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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