the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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