mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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