Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
