My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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