is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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