I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
