never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
