I want to make a zoo with you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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