would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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