hell yes lets make some ravioli
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
