just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
