Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
