he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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