im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
