I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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